Not Everything Goes According to Plan
by eyeslikeashowroom
Summary: Blair never knew that this would happen with Serena, that they'd be together like this. But sometimes not even Blair Waldorf's life is all planned out. Waldsen femslash
1. Chapter 1

When Blair first got to know Serena, it wasn't like she immediately knew that they would be something more than friends. Even her kindergarten self knew when people were going to be significant, and that's why the first time she met Nate she ruffled his golden hair and decided they were dating, because it was just the way things were. And she looked at Serena, deciding after awhile that just maybe this beautiful girl would be her best friend forever and ever. And so, Serena got a slight hug and grin, and Blair's future was practically settled from that moment on.

She never thought it would be like _this_ with Serena.

She knew they were attracted to each other, in a tiny little part of her brain that she didn't particularly care to think about. And in elementary school, when her and Serena touched more and longer than what was normal, Blair knew it should mean _something_. She never paid much attention to it, instead focusing on whatever drama was going on with Nate or the girls at school (because God knows Blair was the center of drama even in elementary), and Serena was just _there_. She was important, but not enough for Blair to analyze every little thing they did together, which Blair regrets now. So much.

In middle school, it became more blatant, when their bodies changed and Blair began to understand the small fluttering of butterflies in her stomach when Serena looked at her like _that_. And she began to notice when them lying next to each other on Blair's bed turned into wrestling and doing basically anything that involved contact, and the shrieking and giggling turned into breathy laughs that weren't really laughs at all.

And every night they said, "Goodbye" and, "I love you", and over the years the goodbyes became less frequent (because they wanted to be together all the time) and the "I love you"s took their place. And in 8th grade was when Blair's mind really started working, when the touches between them weren't just accidents or casual friendly brushes of skin, when they began to _mean_ something. But she shook it off and gave Serena a chaste kiss on the cheek before the subject was changed. And that's the way it always, _always_ happened.

But then there was that one night. When Serena came to Blair's absolutely bawling because of some jerk, and Blair naturally assumed the best friend role of comforting her despite the fact that it was three in the morning. And they had snuggled together in Blair's bed, Serena curled up and Blair wrapped around her back like she would just block away anything and everything that could hurt Serena.

God. Blair remembers like it was yesterday.

Finally Serena stopped crying, and she shifted so she was facing Blair, her eyes red and puffy. And Blair hadn't let go of her hold on Serena waist, so they ended up being pressed close together, their noses almost touching. Blair remembers how her breath caught at that, how Serena glanced at her when she heard it.

"Are you alright, S?" Blair had asked, and Serena had smiled at the overwhelming concern and protectiveness in her eyes.

"Yeah," Serena replied, her voice not agreeing with her words at all. And Blair had tugged her closer by the waist and pressed a kiss to her nose tenderly, comfortingly.

And then Serena's mouth moved upward, or maybe Blair's pressed down, _whatever_. Blair just remembers Serena kissing her, like for real, and that's enough.

Blair had frozen in shock and Serena's lips had stilled on hers. Blair finally snapped out of it and began kissing the girl back, and she felt a rush of love and excitement and relief, and _oh,_ it was wonderful.

Blair's hand had clenched around the hair at the nape of Serena's neck, and Serena had laughed giddily as she kissed Blair harder, slower and deeper and somehow more meaningful.

Serena then promptly broke away, causing Blair to glance down at her in surprise.

She smiled then, because Serena was just beaming, staring up at Blair with so much love and adoration and trust, and Blair had to lean down and press a kiss to Serena's temple so Serena wouldn't see the blush Blair was getting from being stared at like that.

Present day Blair smiles as she glances over at present day Serena, lying next to her peacefully and silently on Blair's bed. Nights like that first one have become recurrent, as Serena cries over another jerk and another comforting session turns into another intimate make out one, where the only sounds heard are those breathy laughs again that aren't laughs at all.

One time, they almost go all the way. Serena's hand is under Blair's blouse and the way she palms Blair's mound makes the brunette nip at Serena's neck affectionately. Soon it's going too fast, and they both have to stop because Serena's fingers are almost _inside_ of Blair, and they're not ready for that, for what connotations that carries. Blair takes Serena by the hair and brings their lips together, mixing a chaste kiss with her hand reaching down to still Serena's. And then that's the end of that.

They never talk about it again.

Blair stares at Serena, wondering what they are, if they're anything, or if they're doing the sort of friends with benefits thing. She wishes she could say "my girlfriend" when she's referring to Serena, wishes she could come up behind Serena's slender body in public and wrap her arms around it, pressing their lips together like it's the most normal thing in the world. Blair wishes this when she catches sight of Serena those times she's looking so perfect and beautiful (_whenever_ she catches sight of Serena), she wishes it whenever any part of their bodies touch and she shivers at the electricity that flows there. And Blair wishes it right now as Serena wakes up and smiles at her dreamily, leaning to give her a kiss that screams _more_. And Blair responds, even though she's aware it'll all have to be stopped before they do something they'll regret.

She's going to enjoy it right now. They'll talk in the morning.

**Keep it a oneshot, or add more on? You tell me!**


	2. Chapter 2

Blair sighs when she wakes up and feels Serena's arm on her. She doesn't want to open her eyes and look at Serena, because the fact that they almost had sex last night, (_almost,_ for the second time), feels like it's eating her up inside, and as long as she lies here and her eyes are closed, she can almost forget. She can feel the blonde's arm resting on her stomach, and part of her wishes Serena would hold her tighter, but part of her wishes the opposite. She slowly and carefully rolls out from under Serena's arm, getting off the bed and going to take a shower. She feels like she needs to wash the smell of Serena off her, wash of all the empty promises and kisses they shared with each other.

Blair doesn't remember what guy it was this time. Tony, or Tommy, something like that. It wasn't nearly as bad as when it was Nate, because then Serena had came and stayed for two straight days, and Blair had to get her heart broken for 48 hours instead of 24. And Blair also remembers when it was Dan, when Serena was so broken and vulnerable that she pressed her lips to the brunette's in an unfamiliar, fevered way that Blair had not at all been ready to deal with.

Blair wishes that for just one time, Serena will want to kiss her because she loves her.

She's dazed in the shower, and she knows that she needs to snap out of it. She's Blair Waldorf, for God's sake. She doesn't need to be feelings jealous of anybody. But all Blair can ever think about is how Serena is willing to fall in love with all sorts of different guys, taking for granted the fact that her best friend will always be there. It upsets Blair, because all she's ever wanted is Serena's love. She wants to be the _only_ one, the one who comes first.

Blair turns the water off, because she figures she's not getting clean anyway while she stares at the shower wall.

She's confused. She never wanted to love Serena more than a friend, never thought she would or could. But she knows that Serena being with tons of other guys hurts her way more than it should, and now she's confused as to how she should tell her best friend that she's madly in love with her. And then Blair thinks, wait, hold on a minute. What the _fuck_ is going on?

Blair's not gay. She's _not_.

She comes out of the bathroom, loosely wrapping a towel around herself. She's not trying to hide anything, because Serena's seen it all already, and Blair needs some aspect of persuasion if she _ever_ wants Serena to love her like she wants to be loved. Serena's sitting up in the bed when Blair returns, and Blair gives her sort of a half-grimace, a smile but not.

"Hey," says Serena softly, giving Blair a dazzling smile. Blair goes to sit beside her and Serena tugs her closer, pressing a kiss into Blair's hair. "Thanks for being there last night."

Blair bites back what she wants to snap, how she wants to point out that she's always here for Serena, and always will be, without getting anything in return.

"I love you, B," Serena whispers, her voice hoarse and meaningful, but Blair wants it to mean _more_.

"I love you too, S," Blair replies, spitting out the standard answer. Even if she didn't love Serena, she would probably say it back anyway. She's become accustomed to it. She opens her mouth to say something, but then stops abruptly. She wants to know why Serena doesn't love her the same way she loves Serena, but that's not exactly something you can just ask someone.

"What's wrong?" asks Serena, her brow wrinkling in confusion.

"Nothing, it's just…" Blair takes a deep breath. A very, very deep breath, because she's not quite sure what to say. She's tired of keeping this love and affection in her heart, and she feels like she might burst. "What guy are you going to go to this time?"

"What's that mean?"

"Serena…" She doesn't want to insult her. But can't Serena notice how she throws herself at every guy remotely interested in her, and then at least one heart always gets broken?

"Are you trying to say I'm a whore?" asks Serena, because when you're dealing with Blair it's custom to assume the worst.

"No. I don't like seeing you hurt, S," Blair replies, her voice the softest that Serena's ever heard it. Blair reaches for her hand and Serena notices something in the brunette's eyes, but she's not sure what it is, and it's gone before she can contemplate it further.

"I'll be okay," Serena says, a tad bravely. Because she really doesn't need Blair to pity her, or anything.

"You'll get tired of it someday," Blair tells her, her chocolate eyes dropping to stare at the bed sheets. She untangles her hand from Serena's and begins to pick at a loose thread in the bedding absentmindedly. "You'll just keep getting hurt over and over, and eventually you won't be able to take it. I don't want that to happen to you Serena."

"It won't," soothes Serena, wondering why she's the one doing the soothing in the first place. "It's no big deal, Blair. I just haven't found the right guy. I'm gonna keep trying though, until it happens. It's _got_ to happen."

Blair doesn't want to disagree. But she thinks that maybe the one for Serena isn't a guy, but her best friend who would never, _ever_ break her heart.

"I have to go," Serena says suddenly. Blair glances up at her quickly, desperately, grabbing her by the arm so that she can't get up.

"No, stay. I didn't mean to make you mad."

"I'm not mad. I just have to go. I promised Nate I would meet him for lunch."

Blair's stomach clenches as she stares at Serena. Nate doesn't deserve her, but yet Serena is offering herself to him for the millionth time. Blair just doesn't _get_ it. "Why do you have to meet him for lunch?" Blair asks, because the thought of it is already beginning to kill her.

"He just called, while you were in the shower. We talked and we…we decided that we're going to give _us_ another shot. He sounded so sweet and sincere, B. I think I've really loved him all along."

"What about Tony?" Blair asks, because she's confused as shit. Serena sure does bounce back fast.

"It was Toby. And he just wasn't the one for me." Serena smiles, and Blair knows that smile. It was the mushy, sappy one she got whenever she thought about her current man of the moment.

Blair might as well kill herself right now.

"I've just missed Nate so much. We apologized, and I think it can really work out this time. I'm so excited Blair!"

"Me too," agrees Blair, but her voice is dull and uncaring. She's such a masochist. Why had she fallen in love with Serena when she knew it would keep making her hurt like this?

Serena stands up gracefully and swiftly, her blonde hair swinging as she leans to kiss Blair. It's a poorly aimed cheek kiss, and Blair's heart flutters when Serena's lips brush just to the left of her own.

"Bye, B," Serena says softly, smiling down at Blair with this huge grin, like Blair is just a freakin' saint and Serena can't be more appreciative of her. "Thanks a lot. I'll call you later, okay?" She places a hand on Blair's shoulder and squeezes it softly, smiling again, and for once Blair wishes Serena wasn't so much of a _toucher_.

"Kay," she replies vaguely, having trouble looking Serena in the eye. She's never _wanted_ her so badly. She watches as Serena slips out her bedroom door quietly, and leaves to go get hurt again. And here Blair will be, ready to fix Serena's heart as soon as Serena realizes it's cracked.

Blair is _so_ gay.


	3. Chapter 3

**Woah, I realize I haven't updated this in FOREVER. I was reading over this the other day and I had forgotten how much I loved it! So I had to update. Please tell me what you think, I'm loving writing this, but I'm unsure how it's going!**

"Hello?" Blair realizes her voice sounds dejected and mopey and sad, and she doesn't like it. It'd been four hours since Serena had left, and the bitter feeling in Blair's heart has not come even close to disappearing.

"Hey, Blair. Have you, uh, have you talked to Serena recently?"

Blair's stomach clenches. Even hearing Serena's name gives her feelings she doesn't want to have.

"No, Humphrey, I haven't. Care to tell why you're asking about her?"

She hears Dan clear his throat, wonders if Serena broke his heart like she broke Blair's. Blair doesn't want to point a finger at Serena, make her the bad guy, because the blonde really doesn't know what she's doing. She's carefree and likes to have fun and likes to fall in love, and Blair can't blame her for that, not really.

But she does.

"I... I just wanted to talk to her is all."

"Elaborate?" Blair replies into the phone,_ commands_ really.

Dan hesitates. "Uh, there's nothing to elaborate on. I just wanted to see what she was up to, and when I called, her phone was turned off, and I figured if anybody knew where she was it would be you. I just... wanted to see if she wanted to hang out. Or something."

_Or something_. Blair's learned that rarely do boys want to just "hang out" with someone as beautiful as Serena. She can't name all the times she's been with Serena when boys have called for her, and Serena hangs up with a shrug and tells Blair, "He said he just wanted to hang out." Blair's stomach would drop, but then Serena would grin and say, "But I told them I was too busy hanging out with my best friend." And then she'd clench Blair's hand tightly and Blair would laugh carelessly along with her, and they'd walk together happily, arms swinging and fingers interlocked. Blair remembers how a guy would call sometimes two or three times a week, and at least once Serena would go "hang out" and come back to Blair looking disheveled and a tiny bit flushed.

Blair wasn't calling Serena a whore. But she's still pretty sure Serena never just "hung out".

"She's on a date with Nate right now," Blair replies bluntly.

It's silent on the other line for a moment. Blair can hear Dan breathing. She bites her lip. She never particularly liked Humphrey, but she hadn't meant to say that.

"Oh, okay. Well. Never mind, I guess. Thanks. Bye."

She doesn't say bye as she listens to Dan hang up. Blair sits and listens to the static, then pulls the phone away from her ear and mechanically punches in Serena's number.

"Hello?" Blair flinches at the way Serena answers. Her voice is high and way too flirty for Blair's taste.

"Serena..."

"Oh, hey B! What's up?"

Blair licks her lips and swallows. She's not sure why she called Serena. She can't remember. Why... oh yes, Dan. Dan Dan _Dan_.

"Nothing. I just wanted to tell you, before I forgot. Dan called for you."

"Oh, my phone was off earlier, and I- Nate stop it!"

Blair listens to Serena giggle and laugh while she admonishes Nate for God knows what in the background. She brings her thumb to her mouth and begins to chew on a nail. She'd gone through a horrid phase of nail-biting in middle school, and had forced herself to grow out of it. Apparently, it had decided to make a reappearance.

"Sorry, B. He musta called when my phone was off. What'd he want?"

"He-"

"NATE! Not now!"

Blair cleared her throat and stopped biting her nail, opting instead to clench her fists and dig her nails into her palms. She waited for a moment, listening to Serena whisper to Nate in a voice that Blair could tell even she would get turned on by if she was in his position. She glanced at her palm, her eyes tracing the little crescents indented there.

"He wanted to talk to you and see if you wanted to hang out. So I guess, just, um, call him back whenever you're free. If you want."

"Okay, thanks Blair! Hey, I gotta go. Nate's making it quite impossible to talk on the phone," Serena giggled. "Depending on what time I leave here, maybe I can stop in and see you again? I've missed you these couple hours we've been apart." Serena laughed.

Blair's supposed to laugh, and she wants to. But she doesn't.

"Yeah, call me whenever you get done with... whatever."

"Kay. I love you, B!"

"Love you too."

Serena hangs up first. Blair remember when they used to play the "you hang up first" game, how it could go on forever. She guesses Serena doesn't play that game anymore.

It was juvenile, anyways.

Blair begins to dial Dan. She doesn't know why, but she does.

"Humphrey," she says, by way of greeting. She hears him sigh.

"That's my name," he replies. "What's up?"

"Look, you're not doing anything tonight, right?"

"Actually-"

"Save it, Humphrey. We both know you're not."

Dan sighs again. "Fine," he replies. "Why?"

"I thought we could..." she hesitates. She can't believe she's doing this._ Dan Humphrey_. "Maybe see a movie or something?" she blurts impulsively.

Dan doesn't know how to handle that. "Uh, yeah, I mean, sure-"

"I'll be by to pick you up in half an hour. Make yourself presentable but don't overdo it."

Dan laughs weakly. "Got it. We can go see that new Scream movie or something? I mean, if you want?"

Blair does not want to see Scream, and she never has and never will. But she finds herself agreeing, and then finds herself going to get ready, and soon she's on her way to pick up Dan.

Crazy things happen when Serena leaves Blair.

* * *

"That was the dumbest movie I've ever seen," Dan laughs, glancing at Blair and watching as she laughs too. "It was completely unrealistic." They're sitting in the limo outside of Dan's loft, with the limo driver on the other side of the divider politely pretending not to listen.

"I know. Like how did he get in there with all that high-tech security shit they had rigged up?" laughed Blair, smiling. She can't really believe she had a good time with Dan. It's odd, and a little strange to her, but she decides maybe she likes it.

"I could have written it way better," Dan says, pretending to be cocky. And it's okay, because they both know he's not.

"I bet you could," Blair replies, smiling warmly. She catches herself them, trying to force her eyes from his. "I mean-"

"Hey, it's cool," Dan replied, reaching out and placing a hand on her knee. She doesn't try to move it, either. "Blair Waldorf can be nice. Who knew?"

Blair smiles again. "I had a good time tonight, Humphrey," she admits. This is weird. She never _ever_ thought in her life that she would have a good time with Dan Humphrey, much less be admitting it. But as they sat together in the theater, Dan had made little witty, sarcastic comments that made Blair laugh, and Blair had actually shared her popcorn with him, which made Dan smile, and they had both accidentally reached for the popcorn at the same time and didn't attempt to move their hands afterwards, which made them both smile. And if there's anyone she can let down her bitchy-ice-queen guard around, it's Humphrey.

"Hey, me too. Thanks."

She looks into Dan's warm brown eyes and can tell that he actually means it, and she suddenly feels bad for Humphrey. She knows it's hard for him to have to be around these snobby, prep people that have sticks up their asses and turn their nose up at anyone who seems different than they are. Blair can't say she isn't one of those people. But right now, as she notices that Dan is indeed _very_ different than the people she normally associates with, she decides that maybe it's not completely a bad thing that he's different.

Blair likes different.

"If you're ever bored or anything, or... wanna talk, or something. Call me, okay?"

Okay, thanks. You too." He leans over and kisses her on the cheek, and Blair finds herself smiling as his slight stubble grazes her skin. It's good to find a nice guy every once in awhile.

"Bye," she says, and watches him say it back and then slip out of the limo and leave. And the whole way home Blair stares out of the window at the neatly trimmed green grass and thinks nice thoughts about Daniel Humphrey.

* * *

As soon as Blair opens her bedroom door, the first thing she sees in the mass of blonde hair spread out across her bed. She swallows as she's bitterly hit with the feelings she'd been trying to forget all night.

Serena's lifts her head at the sound of Blair's return, hair flying as her head snaps up. "B!" She sits up and crosses her tan legs, patting the space next to her. "Where were you? I text you."

Blair goes to set her bag down on her desk, opening it and reaching for her phone. She looks at it and confirms that she had, in fact, received a message from Serena two hours ago. Blair glances at the time. 9.17. She'd been with Dan for almost four hours. Wow. Time had flown by.

"Sorry." She drops her phone in her bag, not checking the message. "I wasn't checking my phone." She goes to sit by Serena, making sure to keep a good distance from her best friend. Blair doesn't want to get carried away. Or, feel like she might.

Serena reaches over and begins to run her fingers through Blair's hair. "Where were you?"

"Out." Blair's voice breaks. She doesn't want to tell Serena this. Not that she's embarrassed, it's just that she'd prefer to keep this information to herself, keep it personal and know that only she knows about the wonderful yet baffling time she spent with Dan. But Serena has been her best friend for long enough, and isn't afraid to pry.

"With?" she questions.

Blair hesitates. She could lie. She could _totally_ lie. "Dan."

Serena freezes, her fingers tangled in Blair's hair but not moving. She quickly recovers, untangling her fingers and patting Blair's hair back to normal. She sits back and pulls her knees against her chest. "Dan? Humphrey?"

Blair runs her hand across her comforter. "Yeah."

Serena clears her throat. "What, uh, what for?"

"We went and saw a movie." Blair shrugs and stands up, goes to rifle through her bag and act like she's organizing it. She has this weird feeling, like Serena thinks she's hers. She doesn't know how Serena's taking her and Dan hanging out.

She hears Serena speak after a moment. "Like, like a date?" Her voice is careless in that way that lets Blair know that she really does care. It's obvious; S has never been much of a good liar.

"No." Blair turns, eyeing Serena. "Like as friends." Her voice is challenging, and she doesn't mean for it to be. But she can tell it is, and she can tell that Serena can tell it is, by the way Serena stands up and steps towards her.

"Why?"

"Because I was bored. You were out with Nate, and I had nothing better to do at the moment, and he was bored too, so I called him, and then... and then we saw a movie. That's it." She's aware her voice has now turned accusing and a little defensive.

"Oh." Serena nods, eyes wide. "That's cool. Did you have fun?"

"Yeah." Blair walks towards Serena, passing her and sitting back on the bed. She crosses her legs, watching as Serena turns to stare at her. This is awkward, and she doesn't know why. "Yeah, I had fun."

"Good." Serena waits for a minute, unsure if it's okay to go and sit by Blair. Blair puts her chin in her hand and stares vacantly at nothing, and finally Serena sits next to her. Blair knows she's acting weird, and she doesn't want to be mean to Serena. It's not her fault. She likes Nate, so she went out with him. Blair can't be possessive over something she doesn't have.

"I had a good time with Nate, too," Serena offers after a moment. "We went to lunch and then back to his house. We talked a lot. And stuff." She nods, like she's confirming what she's saying. Blair knows they didn't just "talk".

"Oh. Yeah? Cool," Blair replies, scratching absentmindedly at her arm and she glances at Serena, who's still watching her with blue eyes that are bigger than normal. Blair being weird makes her nervous. "We just saw a movie, and then sat in my limo and talked. He's really smart, you know."

"Yeah," blurts Serena. "I do know."

Blair stares at Serena, holding her gaze for a long time. "He's funny too." Blair laughs, but it's short and dry. "He made me laugh a lot. Never thought I'd admit it. Dan's not bad."

She knows Serena's been trying to tell her this forever, and she sees Serena clench a fist and then immediately unclench it.

Serena's laugh is short and dry too. And bitter. "Yeah."

Blair sighs and looks away. She doesn't want to do this. She glances at Serena. "I missed you," she says quietly. "I mean, when you were with Nate. I missed you."

Serena's face softens. She reached out and lightly places a hand on Blair's leg. "I missed you too."

Blair clenches Serena's hand tightly. "No, you don't... it's not... I miss you a lot. All the time, when you're out with your current boy toy of the month. I don't... I don't like it."

Serena watches her, and Blair knows it's weird to say she doesn't like Serena dating. They're friends. That's it.

"Hey." Blair's eyes catch Serena's. "Hey. I know what you mean. I'm sorry. I don't mean to... hurt you. I... I love you a lot, B."

_Not like I want you too_ Blair thinks in her head.

"I know we're... different. I don't forget the things we do together, B. I don't."

"I don't either," Blair whispers. "But what do they mean?"

"I don't know," answers Serena, laying back on the bed and turning to Blair when she does the same. She interlocks their fingers and stares at their joined hands. "I just know I love you, and I like the way we are with each other. It makes me feel good." She leans in and kissed Blair lightly, a kiss that says they're something more but not completely. "That's what I know."

Blair scoots closer, her hand traveling up Serena's cheek and gripping in her hair. Her lips meet Serena's again, harder, deeper, _more_.

"Let's not almost have sex again," Blair whispers when they pull apart, when Serena's breath is on her neck and their breathing is a lot heavier than it was previously. She places a palm on Serena's stomach. They've never talked about it, until now.

Serena sighs thoughtfully, turns until she's laying on her back and staring at the ceiling. She reaches for Blair's hand. "Yeah, you're right."

"So, what's going on with you and Nate?" Blair asks. "Are you official?"

"I don't know," Serena answers, closing her eyes. "I mean, I guess. Yeah."

"Oh." Blair closes her eyes too and squeezes Serena's hand. "That's cool."

"Love you," Serena says softly as she feels herself drift off.

"Yeah," Blair says back. "Yeah, love you too."


	4. Chapter 4

**So I'm really sorry if you don't like Dan/Blair or Nate/Serena, because there is some of that in this story. But my main focus is still waldsen! Please review!**

"Hey, B. You awake? It's 12."

Blair opens her eyes when she hears Serena's voice drift towards her from the other side of the bed. Blair had been awake the whole time, eyes shut tightly and mind quietly contemplating what she should do about the problem of Serena. Half an hour ago Blair had opened her eyes, peeked at Serena to see hers still closed, turned on her side so her back was to the blonde, and had thought and thought about this problem until she heard Serena's voice ring through the silence.

"Yeah," Blair answers, rolling onto her back so her body is no longer a barrier between her and Serena. There was already an emotional barrier forming; Blair doesn't need another one. "I'm up."

"What are you thinking about doing today?" Serena asks, bringing a hand to Blair's arm and lazily trailing her finger up and down the soft skin. Blair's arm begins to feel warm where Serena touches it, and she closes her eyes again.

"I dunno. Probably just lounge around. I wish summer was over and school would just start." Blair always did better when she was able to be around her minions 24/7, when she always had a group to boss around and be in charge of.

Serena snorts softly, and Blair feels a weight being lifted off the bed. She opens her eyes and glances at Serena using her peripheral vision, watching as Serena goes to grab a hairbrush and stand in front of Blair's full-length mirror. "Wow, B, really? Who wishes for summer to end? Live a little."

Blair bites back the urge to snap something snarky in return. "What are _you_ going to do today?"

"I might hang out with Nate or something," Serena replies lightly, running Blair's brush through her hair as she glances at Blair in the mirror. "We might see a movie. You could come with."

Blair does not want to _come with_, and she won't.

"No, thanks. I could probably call Dan or something. You know, just find something to do."

She watches as Serena yanks the brush through her hair and then drops it on Blair's dresser with a clatter.

Blair flinches. "Jesus, Serena. Go ahead and wake up the whole damn house."

Serena doesn't mumble an apology, like she normally would, and Blair doesn't raise an eyebrow for one, like she normally would.

Serena stares at her, waiting until Blair's eyes meet hers and stay there. "I said you could come out with me and Nate," she says slowly. "It'll be fun. Just like old times."

Blair feels herself inadvertently raise an eyebrow. Never has _Serena_ told her what to do. Blair does what she wants.

"Maybe we can meet up with you later," she says after a moment. She knows Serena will see them meeting up as _double date _and that's part of the reason she says it.

Serena knows that she's lost this round, and she rolls her eyes. "Fine." She walks to the bed and leans over Blair, reaching for her phone that's resting on the nightstand. Her breast lightly grazes Blair's arm and Blair clenches a fist. Serena's always known how to be a tease, but never has she used her ability on Blair. "Later," Serena says, and she shoots Blair a half smile and walks out of her bedroom door without the usual hug and kiss she gives.

Blair sighs and sits up, crossing her legs and reaching for her cell phone as well. She types in Dan's number and hesitates before she presses the call button. She shouldn't feel guilty about this. Serena is going out with Nate, and Serena and Dan are broken up, and Blair is only going out with Dan because she likes him as a friend, and she's in no way trying to do this out of jealously, but only because she actually likes Humphrey's company. Blair's motives for calling Dan are normal and appropriate and she shouldn't feel guilty about it because Serena can just go out and break Blair's heart every day and not feel a _damn_ thing in return.

Blair deserves this. Right?

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dan. It's Blair." She hears Dan's easygoing laugh in her ear and suddenly she feels butterflies in the depths of her stomach. He's just so… _nice_.

"Yeah, I know. Caller ID," he explains. "What's up?"

"You want to hang out or something?" she blurts before she can stop herself. "We can go to the movies…again. Whatever you want."

Dan's quiet for a minute. "Where's Serena?" he asks carefully.

Blair inhales; she doesn't want him to think she's using him. In reality, she's beginning to think she'd rather be hanging out with Dan when she's with Serena, anyway. At least Dan's good for her. The way she's in love with Serena has been tearing her down inside more and more every day.

"I don't know. With Nate or something."

"How about we go get some tea or lemonade or something? You wanna go to Starbucks?"

Blair hasn't frequented Starbucks in a while, and she knows Dan never has. But she agrees anyway. "Yeah, okay. That sounds good."

"You want me to come get you? Or-"

"I can come pick you up," Blair replies. She's never really preferred to ride in anything other than a limo. It's not so much this fact that causes her to make the offer though; she likes the thought of her and Dan being able to whisper privately in the back while they get to be driven around wherever they'd like to go. She admits she'd rather have Dan's attention on her than on driving.

Purely friendship attention, though.

"Okay," Dan answers. "See ya."

She hangs up first and then goes to get dressed. Blair doesn't plan on dressing fancy for this occasion, or even putting on her usual amount of makeup. She's not sure if she'll see someone out that she knows, but even if she does they'd be seeing her with Dan Humphrey, which would most likely shoot her reputation to hell, or at least not far from it.

It doesn't matter. Blair's not into impressing people much lately.

"So what have you been up to today?" Blair asks Dan when she brings her mouth away from the straw of her Carmel Frappuccino.

"Nothing much. Jenny was getting on my nerves. I was about to just leave the house and walk until I ended up somewhere. I love her, but she's been acting so rude ever since she…" He stops and clears his throat. Blair and Jenny where not on best terms, and Blair knows she's most likely the reason for Jenny's new bitchy attitude. In the beginning, she had tried to educate Little J on the basics of being a true queen. Apparently, Jenny still retained some of the rudeness she had seen displayed by Blair.

"Oh, yeah. That sucks. I've just been being bored. Pretty much it. Have you seen that new movie-" Blair's phone begins to ring and she wrinkles her brow, reaching for her purse and pulling her phone out. The display reads "_Serena_" and Blair seriously considers turning her phone off and not answering.

"Hello."

"B, where are you?"

"I'm at Starbucks." Blair glances over at Dan, purses her lips apologetically. "Serena," she mouths.

He nods, turning his attention back to his iced tea.

"Oh, okay. Hey, mind if I come meet you? Nate was busy and I don't really have anything else to do." Before Blair can open her mouth Serena says, "Okay, cool. See you in a few!"

Blair stares blankly at nothing before she snaps out of it and ends the call. "Seems we're going to have an unexpected guest," she says to Dan.

He shrugs, trying to look unfazed, but Blair knows that he is a little. And it's rationale; the break up between him and Serena wasn't too terribly long ago. "Okay. Fine with me. But I have to go this poetry reading in about an hour. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, I wasn't planning on staying much longer anyway," answers Blair, setting down her finished Frappuccino.

They talk for about twenty minutes, and what they talk about is everything. Books, movies, sports, life, love. Blair's reminded how easy it is for her to talk to Dan, how the conversation just flows and there's always a new question she wants to ask him or something she wants to tell him about. She doesn't notice Serena has arrived until she hears the scrape of a chair being pulled back, and turns along with Dan to watch as the blonde sets her purse down and slips into the extra seat at their small table.

"Hey guys," Serena says, as if it's not a big deal she has just randomly plopped herself down right at their table without warning and has also interrupted their conversation in the same moment. She sounds slightly out of breath. "Sorry I took so long; I just decided to walk and enjoy the fresh air. What are we talking about?"

Dan opens his mouth to answer, but Blair opens hers quicker. "We were just saying how we have to get going. Sorry, Serena, that you came all the way here."

Serena hesitates for a moment before she plasters the same stupid cheerful smile on her face. "Oh, no that's fine! I'll just go home with you B."

Blair wants to tell Serena no, (_don't, please_), because she loves Serena but the knowledge that Serena doesn't quite love her the same way always seems to strangle Blair when they're together. But she finds herself nodding. "Okay."

Dan stands, and then Blair and Serena stand, and Dan walks towards Blair, placing a hand on her waist and walking her out. Blair can feel Serena's eyes burning into her back, tracing the area where Dan's hand is touching her waist with sharp eyes that cut like knives. They all climb into the limo, and the ride is awkward, just like Blair knew it would be. Her and Dan sit opposite Serena, and Blair's forced to watch their eyes carefully avoid each other, and Serena's eyes avoid hers as well. They drop Dan off, and he leaves with a kiss pressed to Blair's cheek and a curt nod at Serena. Blair watches out the window as he leaves, and when they've completely pulled out of sight she finally drags her eyes back to Serena, who's staring at her.

"I thought you were just friends," Serena says, her lips pursed. She rolls her eyes. "Smooth, B."

Blair inhales sharply as her eyes narrow. "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, Serena."

Serena doesn't flinch. She's used to battling Blair, and although she often loses she continues to foolishly participate.

"I think I'm your best friend, and Dan's ex-girlfriend. Didn't you ever hear that you're not supposed to mess with your friends' exes so soon after they break up?"

"You didn't seem to have a problem breaking that rule when you started seeing Nate again, did you?" Blair snaps.

"That's different," replies Serena. "You guys broke up ages ago. And you know Nate and I have always had a thing, just like you guys had one. You knew we loved each other, and you put up with it. You never took a damn interest in Dan until I dated him."

"So?" Blair asked Serena, rolling her eyes and digging her nails into her palm. "Don't get all territorial on me, Serena. I'm sure Dan's not the type to like clingy girls. Aren't you aware of how unattractive that is, baby?"

"Don't _speak_ to me like that," Serena hisses lowly. "I'm not being territorial and I'm _not_ being clingy. I was just stating that it didn't seem you and Dan were just interested in a "friendship relationship". I mean, if you're gonna be a whore and try to sleep with the guy, at least admit it."

"So what if we are interested in something more than friends?" Blair asks, her voice rising. "I don't think it's any of your goddamn _business_. I'm not trying to sleep with him. But if I was? Again, none of your goddamn business. Who do you think you are, just busting in on us hanging out like you were invited? Guess what? You _weren't_. You were supposed to be with Nate, so I went out with Dan. I'm not going to just sit around waiting for you, Serena. I mean, Jesus Christ. I love you, more than you know. But I'm nobody's second choice. If you're going to find someone else to spend your time with, then so am I. It's _fair_."

Serena crosses her arms, looking away. "I don't like it," she admits. The tension between them noticeably diminishes, but it's not completely gone, and it hasn't been for a while. "I don't know why, but I just don't like it." She glances over at Blair quickly and sees that the brunette is still watching her, then glances away again. "I don't think it's just because it's Dan."

"Yeah, well," replies Blair, "I don't like you going out with Nate." She unclenches her fist and stares out the window at the passing buildings. She knows the feelings her and Serena have are slowly starting to cause more and more problems, but she's not sure if Serena, in all of her naivety, knows this. "And it's not just because it's Nate, either."


	5. Chapter 5

**Here yaaa go, enjoy everyone! And for all you fans of And Sometimes the Truth Just Won't Leave You Alone, don't worry I should have a new chapter up for that one up in a coupla days. **

* * *

As Blair's limo nears her penthouse, she flicks her eyes towards Serena. She doesn't really feel like dealing with the pain Serena inadvertently causes her, not right now. "You'd best go home now, Serena."

Serena's mouth sets in a straight line as she appraises Blair. "I'd rather not. You know how my mom and I are. It's been especially bad lately."

"I think it would be best," Blair replies back loudly, her voice leaving no room for opposition. "I don't really want you in my house right now."

"Wow, Blair get off your damn high horse. I have every right to get angry at you trying to go on a date with Dan. I loved him, Blair. And…" She doesn't want to say any more about how she's basically jealous of Dan because he's hanging around with Blair. She knows, rationally, that she can't be angry about that, because Blair's not her girlfriend and for her to feel protective like that is weird and uncalled for. "And you don't like me going out with Nate. So come off it."

Blair raises her chin at Serena, looking down her nose at the blonde. "I don't like your attitude. Therefore, I don't want you in my house. And by the way, Dan and I were not on a date." She purses her lips. "So how about you come off it. It's making you look rather pathetic, truthfully."

Serena rolls her eyes, her ice cold glare hitting Blair in the heart like a dagger. She refuses to show the damage of it though, glaring back at her best friend.

"Let's not talking about looking pathetic, Blair," says Serena nastily. "Your whole relationship with Chuck? Basically the definition of pathetic. Who knows how many times you cried because he wouldn't tell you he loved you back."

"Well, sorry that I care about love," Blair spits angrily. "Sorry that my relationships matter to me! Not everyone can just be a slut Serena, sleeping around and fucking everyone like a common _whore_. Some people have sex with people they love, not just the most convenient person they find at the moment."

"You're such a bitch," Serena snaps.

"And you're a tramp," retorts Blair, pointing towards the door of the limo even though they were still driving. "Now bye."

"_Stop_ going out with Dan."

"_Stop_ thinking you _own_ him."

"I don't!" Serena replies angrily, her voice rising. "I don't think I own him. And I don't want to!"

"You've always been a bad liar Serena, you fucking slu-"

Serena gets up before Blair can finish her insult, reaching forward and gripping Blair's hair as she kneels down on the floor in front of her. She yanks Blair's head towards her, their lips crashing together so violently that Serena's afraid they'll bruise. She clenches her hands tightly, scratching Blair's scalp and biting her lip as the brunette gasps.

"I don't wanna own Dan," Serena hisses, her voice low and hoarse. Her fingers grip Blair's hair and one hand slides down to grasp at Blair's throat. She takes Blair's bottom lip between her teeth and tugs sharply. "I wanna own _you_."

"I hate you," spits Blair, her tongue tangling with Serena's as they fight for the dominance they both need.

Serena reaches behind Blair and slides the divider open. "Drive around until we say we're ready to go home," she commands the driver, slamming the divider shut again before he can respond.

"You think you can just tell my driver what to do now?" Blair questions snobbishly, eyeing Serena coldly.

"I can tell whoever I want whatever I want." Serena sneers, taking Blair by the throat and forcing her head back against the seat cushion. This was very unfamiliar, touching Blair so violently and passionately. The sexual tension they share had been building, and Serena needs to do something about. Plus, she figures Blair needs to be reminded that she isn't queen of the universe and can't control everything and everyone, especially Serena.

Serena sits back and eyes Blair, still holding her down by the neck so she can't move. Her eyes run up and down Blair's body slowly.

"You're fucking sexy," she says abruptly, eyes swinging back up to meet Blair's. They rarely talk about their attraction to each other openly, or do anything past the stage of kissing.

"And you're fucking _nothing_," snarls Blair, not appreciating the way Serena is controlling her.

"I hate you too," Serena replies, kissing the brunette roughly and punctuating her next sentences with a kiss in between every one. "Love you. Hate you. Love you. Hate you. Kiss you. Bite you. Hit you. Slap you. _Fuck_ you." She slides down Blair's body, pressing a kiss to Blair's inner thigh.

Blair flinches at Serena's closeness to her center. She's already getting horny, and her hips involuntarily grind into the air as she hears Serena laugh smugly and press a hand up her dress and against her underwear.

"Don't start something you can't finish, Serena," Blair warns.

Serena laughs again. "You're right, B. You're such a priss, it'll probably take you forever to actually let go and cum. I should probably stop now."

"Fuck you," hisses Blair, reaching down and sliding her fingers through Serena's hair at the front, the motion tugging Serena's head upwards and forcing their eyes to meet in a heated gaze.

"I know you want to," Serena replied cattily, her nails digging into Blair's thigh. "However, I think I'll decline."

Blair leans down and grips Serena's shoulders, pushing the blonde away. Inside, she's almost ecstatic that they're touching her like this, that the passion Serena is handling her with is intense enough to make Blair's stomach clench and her body shudder. She's been waiting for Serena to touch her like this for forever, but right now they're too angry and it's too much and she needs it to stop. "Get off me, bitch," she commands lowly.

Serena allows herself to be pushed away before she kneels on the seat next to Blair, leaning over her and bringing her lips to Blair's ear. "You know you want it," she breathes, pressing her palm between Blair's legs and feeling the brunette buck her hips ever so slightly into the touch.

"_Get out_."

Serena laughs, sliding away from Blair and opening the divider again to speak to the driver. He'd been driving down random streets near Blair's house in order to follow orders and politely waste time. "Let me out here, please," she tells him. "Thanks." Serena opens the door and glances over at Blair, who's watching her closely with dark eyes.

"You're just gonna walk home from here?" Blair questions her.

"Yes," answers Serena. She smirks. "Like you said, it's probably best that I go home. It'll leave you some alone time to think about the way I was touching you a minute ago." Her smirk grows when she sees Blair clench a fist. "And how you want me to touch you the next time I see you."

"Fuck off," Blair replies, refusing to drop her guard and quit being bitchy. She doesn't like Serena thinking she can manipulate her.

Serena nods, still donning that shit-eating grin that Blair honestly just wants to slap off her face. "Call me later."

Blair doesn't say she will. She leans her head back and stares out the window, facing away from Serena. Their conversation is done. She hears the door slam, and only then does she turn to scrutinize the blonde's perfect ass as it saunters away from her.

* * *

"I'm sorry for the way I acted towards you earlier," Serena blurts as soon as Blair answers the phone an hour later.

Blair sighs, walking out of her closet and to her bed. She sits on it and runs her fingers through her hair. She knew this would come; the regret, the take-backs. Serena hadn't been thinking clearly when she'd touched and talked to Blair like that. And now she was sorry it had happened. "Okay," Blair replies cautiously, waiting for Serena to pull the rug out from under her.

"I wasn't thinking straight," admits Serena. "And I said horrible things."

"We both said horrible things," Blair says reluctantly. She doesn't think she regrets anything she said, in all honesty. Sure, she knew things could have been handled differently and she could have gone about the situation better. But everything she'd said, she'd meant.

"I don't like when we fight."

"Me neither." But Blair does, sometimes. Because it lets her blurt out her true feelings about Serena without them being uncalled for. Her nasty comments to Serena when they're arguing are Blair's revenge for when Serena hurts her every day on accident.

"You're not a bitch."

"Okay," says Blair, because she _is_. "And you're not pathetic. Except for sometimes."

"Okay," Serena says back.

"I'm not dating Dan," says Blair for what feels like the 100th time.

"Yeah," Serena answers. "Yeah, I know. It's just..."

"I know." Serena doesn't need to finish her sentence; Blair understands. "Sorry. But we're friends."

"It's okay. I know I gotta stop...being protective over him. And you."

"Now your protectiveness over me, I like. Keep that," Blair replies, abruptly feeling bold and flirty. "Just kidding."

Serena laughs, and it's not forced but Blair knows it's not her usual laugh. "Yeah. It's weird, B. The way I feel. I don't understand."

She sounds so lost and confused, and Blair wants to help her but she can't. She doesn't understand her own feelings, much less Serena's. "Me either."

Serena sighs. "You wanna have a make-up sesh or something? You can come over. I miss you."

Blair hesitates, not sure if she wants to feel that strain on her heart.

"Um. I'm gonna call my mom first and see what she's up to. And then… I'll call you back." She hangs up before she has to hear Serena's "I love you". Blair has no intention of calling her mom. She likes this pattern they've fallen into, where her mother is rarely home because she out on business, with boyfriends, spending unnecessary money, etc., and Blair only has to see her at parties, holidays, and the occasional times when her mother is at home for more than once a week. She likes the privacy, the freedom, the knowledge that only Dorota is around to tell her what to do. She's never really needed her mother, truly, and she doesn't now. Especially when she's always sitting around and feeling frustrated about the Serena situation. She doesn't want her mom interfering with something like _that_.

"Dorota!" Blair yells, waiting until she sees the maid scurrying into her bedroom.

"Yes, Ms. Blair?" Dorota asks, eyes wide from being startled at Blair's abrupt yelling.

"I need to ask you a question," Blair tells her, quiet for a moment as she ponders the way she wants to say this. "A _hypothetical_ question," she emphasizes.

Dorota nods, waiting.

"So let's say... I had this friend, who was in love with their best friend. I'm talking, head over heels, madly in love with this friend. And let's say, said friend does not know about this person's attraction to them."

"You are in love with Ms. Serena?" Dorota interupts, eyes widening.

"I _said_ I had a _friend_!" screams Blair. "Anyway. So my friend's best friend keeps going out and dating a lot of people, not knowing that it's hurting my friend; the one's that's in love with them. And let's also say, it might not be...socially acceptable for my friend and their best friend to date. But my friend can't take it anymore. They need to do something about their love for their best friend. What would your advice be for... my _friend_, Dorota?"

Dorota eyes Blair for a minute, that look that says "I know you're not telling the truth but I'm not sure what the truth is yet so I'll let it go for now." Blair knows that look. She bites her lip; Dorota almost always knows when she's hiding something.

"Well," Dorota says cautiously, almost 100% sure that she is advising Blair in reality, but not completely sure. "I would tell this... friend of yours, to follow the heart. The heart knows best and the heart does not lie."

Blair rolls her eyes. "That's so cliché, Dorota. Is that the best advice you can give?"

Dorota shrugs. "It is true. And do not worry about what is socially good. What matters is love."

Blair sighs, flopping back on the bed and waving an arm dramatically, signaling for Dorota to leave. "Thanks," she calls, a touch sarcastically. Sure, Dorota's advice was cliché and overused but Blair knew it was true. It still didn't help her with her problem, though.

'_I'll be over in 10_,' she texts to Serena, standing up and running her fingers through her hair. _Here we go_.

* * *

Blair passes Nate on her way to the elevator in Serena's penthouse. He gives her a confused look as he approaches her, and she returns it, stopping in order to talk to him.

"Hey," he says, smiling slightly. "What are you here for?"

"Just to talk to Serena," replies Blair. "You?"

"Same. We were just hanging out. Ya know. But I can't stay; I've gotta go somewhere. So, uh, I'll see you around?"

Blair nods and smiles, watching as he tousles his messy hair back into place. He smiles back and walks away. She turns to watch him, wondering why he looked so flushed and why his hair was so disheveled. She turns on her heel and struts to the elevator, pressing hard on the number of the floor she needs to get to. She can only imagine why he looked like that.

When Serena opens the door, her hair is tousled too and one of her dress straps has slid off her shoulder. She shoves it back up as she lets Blair in. "Hey," she says softly.

"What were you and Nate doing?" Blair asks, turning on her as soon as she gets inside.

Serena blinks. "Nothing. I came home and saw that my mom wasn't in, and I was still a little angry with you, so I just called Nate to come over and talk." She furrows her eyebrows. "Why?"

"You both look a little bit too disheveled to have just been talking," sniffs Blair, turning around and walking to the couch in the living room. She drops her purse on the floor and sits down, crossing her legs and eyeing Serena thoughtfully.

Serena rolls her eyes, sitting on the couch that faces Blair instead of sitting next to her. "I don't see how it's any of your business what we did anyway," she replies with a smug smirk, staring at Blair. She notices the jealously Blair is inadvertently emitting, and it makes her smile. "I had a little...built up frustration from our activities in the car and I needed to deal with it somehow."

"It's called _masturbation_, S," blurts Blair harshly.

The corners around Serena's bright blue eyes crinkle as her smile widens. "I'm not pathetic, Blair. Why masturbate when you can get the real thing?"

Blair wants to steer the conversation away from sex; with Serena, it makes her uncomfortable every time.

Serena notices the discomfort, and she stands, going to finally take a seat next to her best friend. "I'm just kidding. You know that, right, B?" She puts a hand on Blair's arm and Blair's skin immediately begins to tingle. "I didn't ask you to come over here to tease you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Blair says, sliding her arm out from under Serena's touch.

"What's wrong?" asks Serena, confused.

"I don't want... the touching right now," Blair mutters. "Sorry. I just...can't."

Serena stares at Blair until the brunette turns and looks at her. "What?" Serena asks softly.

Blair sighs in frustration. "I don't want you to touch me anymore, Serena. Not in a more than friends way." Her eyes flicker away, and then move back to the blue ones that are still intensely watching her. "We're friends. Not more. So you shouldn't touch me the way you've been touching me. And..." Blair hates to do this, but she feels like she needs to draw the line. "And i don't think we should kiss anymore."

Serena had moved her hand back to Blair's arm, but Blair hadn't noticed until now, when the blonde tightened her grip painfully. "But... I like doing that stuff," Serena murmurs helplessly, scooting closer. "And...when I was having sex with Nate..." her soft voice becomes slightly squeaky, and Blair knows it's her upset voice, the voice she gets before she cries. "I wanted it to be you, B. I really was."

Blair blinks. This is everything she's been waiting for her whole fucking life, but she's learned the hard way that almost always just when she thinks she's finally getting something she wants, there's a catch that fucks it all up. Serena might be saying these things now, but Blair's hesitant to believe them. "But... I'm not _gay_ Serena, and the way I love you, it's not..." Blair Waldorf is _not_ gay.

"Me either," Serena says with wide eyes. "But I love you. More than a friend. And I'm not afraid to say it anymore." She leans over and brushes her lips across Blair's, feeling the brunette shudder under her touch.

Blair presses her lips to Serena's more firmly, gripping her shoulders tightly. "You don't know how long..." she trails off, her mouth opening and her tongue tangling with Serena's in a passionate way that's unfamiliar, Blair being used to the quick, accidental pecks and the longer make outs that happen because Serena is sad and lonely.

"Me too," Serena agrees, bringing a hand to the back of Blair's neck and pulling her closer. "I'm sorry I took so long. I was trying to pretend that I was just imagining my feelings. But I wasn't." She breaks away and stares at Blair, who has swollen lips, tousled hair, smeared lipstick, and still manages to be the most beautiful thing Serena has ever seen. "I _love_ you."

Blair allows herself to be pushed until she's lying down, allows Serena to hover over her and repeatedly press their lips together until Blair's head swirls and she can barely think. "But you and Nate..."

"I'll break up with him," Serena breathes against the brunette's lips, capturing the bottom one between her teeth and tugging lightly. "I'll do anything you want me to do, B."

* * *

**I hope you guys liked it. Please review and tell me what you think! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**In my opinion, this is a tad fluffy. It's cute, but then again, I'm not one for much fluffiness usually, so this surprised me. **

* * *

Blair sighs contentedly, snuggling back against Serena soundly. They're spooning, on Serena's couch, and watching Breakfast at Tiffany's due to Blair's request. Blair slides a hand up her stomach, placing it over the hand Serena has resting there. The bright colors of the TV dance across her eyes without her really seeing them.

"This is nice," she says softly, happily. She feels light, giggly, _high_ even, knowing that she is Serena's and Serena is hers, like it should be. Now they can kiss, and touch, and flirt, and...do _other_ things. And finally it'll feel right.

Serena laughs quietly, nuzzling her nose into Blair's soft, dark-colored locks. "Of course it is," she murmurs, hand squeezing against Blair's stomach affectionately. She uses her other hand to run through Blair's hair soothingly, leaning down to press a kiss against the brunette's neck.

Blair's phone rings from where she placed it next to her on the couch, and she glances at it. She doesn't move when she sees it flash "Humphrey" across the brightly lit screen, just closes her eyes and hopes Serena doesn't see it, or if she does, doesn't care.

Serena shifts and Blair's eyes snap open, watching as the blonde's tan arm reaches for the phone, presses the answer button, and holds it up to Blair's ear. Blair takes it from Serena hesitantly, and glances back curiously to see Serena nod at her.

"Humphrey?" she says after a moment.

"Hey, Blair. Uh, what are you up to?"

"With Serena," replies Blair questioningly. "Why, what's up?"

Dan's easy tone immediately switches to a slightly uncomfortable one, and Blair almost flinches. She doesn't want it to be like this, for Dan to be reminded of all the bad times between him and Serena whenever Blair says her name, and vice versa as well.

"Nothing. I just...I just was gonna see if you wanted to...nothing."

He's getting ready to hang up, and she knows he's getting ready to hang up, and she's surprised when she realizes she doesn't want him to. "Humphrey," she barks quietly. "Spit it out. What do you want?"

"I was going to ask if you wanted to go to the art museum," he responds quickly. "But if you're busy, that's cool."

Blair licks her lips and hesitates. She _would_ like to go to the art museum, in all honesty. She's never met anyone that would even dream of taking her there. She thinks hard. She doesn't want to leave Serena, but she knows Serena doesn't and _won't_ want to take her to the art museum; it's not a Serena sort of thing. It's a Blair sort of thing, a Dan sort of thing, the sort of thing they can go to together and be dorks and act smart and nobody cares.

"Blair?" she hears Dan ask through the phone. "Are you there?"

She snaps back to life, feeling Serena's eyes trained on her and hearing the static as Dan awaits her answer. "Can I take a rain-check?" she asks slowly, apologetically. "I really want to, but... I can't right now. Maybe Saturday?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Dan says back, and Blair feels herself smile. He's just easy to get along with, easygoing and laid back. He doesn't expect Blair to be perfect, to be what everybody else expects her to be. He doesn't treat her like she's better than him, and because of that, she's _not_.

"What did he want?" Serena asks after they hang up.

"He asked if I wanted to go to the art museum."

Serena says nothing for a minute. "You could have went," she replies quietly.

"I didn't want to," responds Blair, shrugging.

"Yes," protests Serena, "yes, you did. And you could have. Just cuz we've..._established_ something now, doesn't mean you can't hang out with Dan."

Blair sighs, staring blankly at the TV before she squeezes Serena's hand on her stomach. "I know," she says softly. "I know, I just...I'm really sorry, S. But..."

"You like him don't you." It's not a question, and it doesn't need to be. Blair sighs again, closing her eyes and biting her lip. Serena doesn't sound mad, but she doesn't sound particularly happy either.

"I..."

"It's okay, B," Serena reassures her, her hand returning to run softly through Blair's hair. "I promise. I...me and Dan are over. And despite what was said before...you like him. And I should be okay with you liking him. So I am."

"I just like him a _little_," Blair stresses, trying to make Serena see that her affection for Dan is nowhere _near_ the affection she feels for the blonde. "Not even enough to date him. Just a little more than a friend, but not quite romantic." She stares straight ahead, feeling the heat rise to her face as she thinks about the fact that she_ kind of a little_ likes Dan Humphrey. "I just...I like that he's smart. I like how he doesn't judge me. He doesn't expect me to be some perfect, queen bee like everybody else does. He's just...simple. _Just_ Humphrey. And I'm _just_ Blair."

"And I'm _just_ Serena," Serena laughs into Blair's hair, and the brunette smiles. "I get it, B."

"I can go with him some other day," rationalizes Blair, squirming back against Serena even more, so she's completely pressed up against the blonde's length. "I wanna stay here with you."

"Oh _thank you_, queen," Serena says loudly, jokingly, laughing as Blair laughs with her. She leans so she can bring her lips to Blair's cheek, tickling Blair's stomach lightly. She smiles as the brunette squirms. "Thank you for being "_just Blair_" with _me_ today." Serena's voice turns slightly more throaty as Blair's ass presses against her center while the brunette is wiggling. She feels her body press forward more firmly without her permission. She clears her throat. She had _not_ meant to do that.

"So what are you going to do about Nate?" asks Blair, resisting the urge to smirk as she notices Serena's hips involuntary buck into her.

"Break up with him," Serena answers immediately, wrapping an arm tighter across Blair's stomach.

"You don't have to, S," protests Blair. It's not fair for her to _kind of a little_ like Dan and for Serena to have to break up with Nate.

"B. I want to." She leans forward, taking Blair's cheek and turning the brunette's head towards hers. Chocolate eyes meet blue ones and Serena smiles. She kisses Blair softly, slowly, like she's a treasure to have and Serena wants to savor her as well as she can. Blair decides she likes it.

"I like Nate," Serena admits, her soft lips brushing against Blair's. "But I _love_ you."

"You're a sap," Blair says against Serena's lips, and the blonde feels her smile. "Makes me sick."

"Oh yeah?" Serena laughs, rolling so she's straddling Blair, pressing both hands against her shoulders to hold her down. "You make me sick." She leans down and brushes her nose against Blair's in a purposeful, sickeningly sweet manner. "_Lovesick_."

"Ew!" laughs Blair, never one for corny, gross, romantic jokes. She'd never been that way with Nate, and certainly not with Chuck. But this thing with Serena...it's funny and cheesy and she likes it. "Get off!"

Serena doesn't, slim fingers once against returning to tickle Blair's flat stomach. She knows it's a weakness. She can't resist smiling as she watches Blair laugh grandly, throwing her head back and closing her eyes. It's rare that anyone, even Serena, sees Blair with her guard down. These moments of playfulness and joy are things to be treasured. She can only hope that they happen more often now that they're relationship is _different_.

"You're not my _queen_ Blair," she says loudly, resisting the urge to laugh. "I don't do what you say. You're _just_ Blair, and I'm _just_ Serena, and that's _just_ the way you want it, right?" she mocks jokingly. She presses her face into the crook of Blair's neck, her coconut scented shampoo causing an odd tingle in the blonde's lower stomach. She nips at Blair's neck.

"You're a goofball," says Blair affectionately.

Serena pulls her head away from Blair, staring down at her. "Name calling. Minus 1 point."

"Minus 1 point from _what_?" Blair laughs.

"Oh, when the day comes, Waldorf, you'll know," Serena replies mysteriously. She leans back, completely away from Blair, and isn't able to stop her eyes from quickly flickering down Blair's upper body and back up to her perfect face. "And trust me, you do _not_ want points to be taken away," she says suggestively, and Blair knows she's talking about sex, or something of the sort. "Only added."

"Did you just check me out?" Blair giggles, rolling her eyes and scrunching her button nose like she's disgusted. "The first time I'm not even wearing a bra and you can't stop your eyes from wandering. Perv."

Serena smiles distractedly, eyes inadvertently focusing more intently after learning this new information. Blair's top is black and relatively plain, and Serena can't tell that she's not wearing a bra but now that she _knows_ she's not, Blair's breasts just look different.

Blair reaches for Serena's hand, dragging it slowly up her lean body and depositing it on the breast that Serena seemingly can't stop ogling. Serena blinks when she realizes this, hand sliding away to Blair's shoulder.

"Sorry," she says, eyes snapping to meet Blair's abashedly. "I didn't mean-"

"I _want_ you to," Blair insists, pushing Serena's hand back and biting her lip as the blonde hesitantly squeezes the mound. Blair directs Serena's hand under her blouse. She glances up and Serena's watching her with wide eyes, and Blair understands. She can't recall a time they've touched skin to skin, except for one. And that was in the beginning when she was confused and Serena was sad and everything they did they worked hard to forget the next day. It doesn't _count_. Their incident in the car was by far the most they had ever gone, and even then all the clothes remained on and all the hands remained over them.

Serena doesn't think she wants this to turn into sex. They're not ready, she's not ready. She wants to and she knows eventually they will, but not now. It has to be special. But under Blair's shirt it's so, so _warm_, and Serena just thinks she can feel the brunette's perfect breasts between her fingers forever. "Blair..."

"I know." Her hands remain _over_ her shirt as she covers the hands working deliciously _under_ it. "I know. I don't...we won't, I just..." Blair reaches up and slides her hands under Serena's top, cupping Serena's breasts as well and watching as the blonde closes her eyes briefly. "I just wanna touch you."

Serena lets her hands slip away from Blair's breasts, fingernails lightly running down Blair's stomach and making her shiver. She brings her hands to Blair's face, cupping it and kissing her deeply. She's felt enough for now, and so has Blair.

The brunette tangles her fingers in Serena's hair, pressing her face closer and her lips harder against her own. "Love you."

"You're being a little sappy," murmurs Serena after a second, breaking away and staring at Blair. The corners of her eyes crinkle as she grins.

"Shut the fuck up and kiss me," Blair says, rolling her eyes and not quiet resisting the urge to smile. She rakes her fingernails down Serena's back, gripping the blonde's perfect ass.

"Assertiveness," Serena states nodding. "I like it. Plus 1."

Just as Serena is about to listen and press her lips to the glorious ones knows as Blair's, her phone rings.

"20 bucks it's Naaaate," sings Blair.

Serena furrows her brow, reaching towards the end table. "He said he was going to the gym or something." She glances at the screen. She doesn't say anything to Blair at first; she doesn't have 20 bucks.

"Could be an emergency," Blair says, noticing that Serena is reluctant to answer.

"Hello?"

"Hey babe."

"Nate... I thought you were at the gym?" Serena says questioningly. She's a little agitated. She doesn't need him interrupting her right now.

"I was, but I just wasn't feeling it today. So I left early. Can I stop by?"

"Uh." Serena glances down at Blair, takes in her slightly swollen lips, tousled hair, half-lifted shirt exposing her stomach, and dark eyes that scream lust and beg for Serena to come back and taste her lips all night. "...No."

Nate's slightly taken aback, and in his silence Serena forces herself out of the horny daydream she's beginning to slip into. "You can't come over because..." She scrambles for an excuse and watches as Blair raises her eyebrows at her expectantly, waiting to see if she can come up with a good one. She decides to stick close enough to the truth. "Blair and I are having some bonding time. We got in a fight earlier and we need this."

"Oh...oh, okay. Just call me later." He's confused by her tone, by the obvious way that she's hiding something. But Nate's never one to pry; he prefers for things to stay simple and Serena knows this. If Serena doesn't want to tell him the truth about things, he believes there's nothing he can really do about it.

"Okay. Bye."

Blair pulls her back against her immediately. "_Bonding_ time my ass," she smirks against the blonde's lips. "We're bonding, all right. _My_ lips are "bonding" with _yours_."

"Sarcasm, minus 1," Serena says, raising an eyebrow.

"Shut up," Blair laughs into her mouth. Her stomach hurts from laughing and she feels like she can't stop smiling. This is not _just_ Blair. This is _Serena's_ Blair.

The way Blair kisses her makes Serena see stars and feel drunk, like everything's funny and happy and she can't focus on anything but Blair. And the delicious way that Blair tugs at her bottom lip makes her think that maybe she'll add plus 10 to Blair's score.


End file.
